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Funny (peculiar).
Some Thoughts on Dreamcatchers.
A Dreamcatcher is a device designed to take away your dreams. In this sense it is much like a spouse, or permanent employment. Dreamcatchers tend to be assembled from willow hoops within which are woven webs akin to those of a spider, often made from sinew or nettle fibre. They are designed in this fashion […]
Some Thoughts on Clothed Ghosts.
August 14, 2010
If the vast majority of witnesses to phantasmal visitations are to be believed, ghosts wear clothes. That’s just an accepted fact. It is of course possible that as many people are seeing nude ghosts, and deciding for whatever reason not to tell anyone, but it’s fully decent spectres that get all the publicity. This […]
Goodnight IV
July 29, 2010
More of the advice that has helped so many go to their rest. Goodnight… Painting crowds of people in silhouette on every wall in the house would probably frighten and confuse intruders. No downside. Yes, that was just a shadow you glimpsed earlier. No, it wasn’t yours. The moths probably won’t release enough dust to […]
Goodnight III
June 25, 2010
Literally people have been asking for a fresh compilation of night-time well-wishings. Such a thing now exists, and indeed follows. Goodnight… Earwigs make for unpleasant bedfellows, but they are as nothing to the mouthmoth and the eyespider. The feeling you have of being watched actually stems from the millions of tiny bugs currently […]
A Guide to Dreams.
April 5, 2010
I recently had one of those dreams where you’re at school doing exams that you’re ill-prepared for. But it was worse, because the course was 70% continual assessment. So I was there for two years. In my pants. This harrowing experience has lead me to believe that people need help to conquer their dreams, and […]
A Guide to Relationships.
March 13, 2010
Last night, one of the most popular trends on Twitter was the #relationshiptips hashtag. ‘Good’, I thought, ‘surely much wisdom will be imparted here.’ But no. 90% of the tweets therein were along the lines of ‘bitches always be illin in my face’ or ‘keep God first’. ‘No’, I thought, ‘that’s not helpful enough for […]
Saving the Greetings Industry : A Proposal.
February 17, 2010
This recently-unearthed transcript from a well-known TV programme shows how a group of young go-getters with strong business heads on their shoulders attempted to revitalize the British greetings industry. Unfortunately, the show in question was pulled at the last minute owing to the quantity of graphic language and intense battle violence, or who knows, we […]
Posted in: Humour
Goodnight II
February 10, 2010
Here’s a fresh batch of Goodnight tweets. I’ve been a bit nocturnal lately, so many will have missed a lot of them. “Grr…Argh.” Goodnight. With the introduction of ASCII to the modern seance, spirits now knock 89 times for ‘Y’ or 78 for ‘N’. Goodnight. That unnerving heartbeat you can hear is almost certainly just […]
Twitterversary.
February 6, 2010
Today marks my first full year on Twitter. To mark this historic event, I’ve pulled out a little selection of non-sequiturs from those twelve months. Endure! In the army, a workplace romance is known as tanky panky. As good as Venus and Serena are, they will always live in the shadow of their grandfather, Tennisy […]
A Short Strip About Hairdressing.
January 25, 2010
Sometimes they let me have crayons, so I’ll put the odd drawing up occasionally to break things up a bit.
Posted in: Artwork
Blair – The Evidence.
January 24, 2010
These days, Tony Blair blithely states that he went into Iraq simply because “it felt good, baby”, but back then it was a different story. His overwhelming fear then was one of nuclear ballistic robots, and the very real possibility that Saddam might already have possessed such nightmare tech in an imagined future reality. During […]
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The Harpurger 
August 16, 2010
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