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Funny (peculiar).
Some so-called jokes.
A few days ago, it was three years since my first Twitter anniversary. To mark this highly significant date, here are some lies and off-colour remarks from that period. Endure. Jay-Z will always live in the shadow of his brother A, author of the best-selling ‘London’. Pharoah to hieroglyphist: “There’s no eye in team.” When […]
Some of the Nice Things People have been Saying about Catbin Fever.
July 21, 2012
I reproduce here some of the nice things people have been saying about my book, Catbin Fever on Twitter, in the hope that you, the reader, will either a) know some of these people and respect their opinions, or b) become browbeaten and overwhelmed by their apparent number, and in either case, will feel inexorably […]
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Bedtime Stories : Creative Drawing
April 2, 2012
My name is Judith Palmer and I don’t regret anything I’ve done. I have taught at St. Agnes Primary School for three years, and I have no intention of leaving. After this term, Jordan will no longer be in my class, and it won’t seem so strange then. When his father asks me to marry […]
Coping with Christmas.
December 1, 2011
Now that Advent is upon us, here are some valuable tips to help you to get through this difficult period. A neighbour’s Christmas card is a good way of planting their DNA at the scene of a crime, but always remember to cross your name out. It’s considered bad luck to set fire to your […]
Catbin Fever.
October 29, 2011
‘You’ve all been very understanding, loves, and this book is my way of saying “thank you, now help me pay for what somebody did to Brenda’s downstairs lavatory”. Ignore the name at the top. It’s all my work, he just wrote it down. I’m sure he wasn’t even listening half the time.’ – CBL CATBIN […]
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Goodnight X: Goodneighbour II – Goodneighbourer.
May 26, 2011
More simple suggestions on how to seem more like those around you. When the new neighbours move in, give them a missing dog poster with a picture of a local dog you like. See if they can get it. Instead of “first pet” and “mother’s maiden name” banking security questions should be based on […]
Some Thoughts on Books.
May 13, 2011
The problem with bookshops is that nobody in them is the least bit impressed that you are buying a book. In this day and age, the purchase of literature should prompt onlookers to drop what they are doing and spontaneously applaud. At the very least, a small interview in the local paper should […]
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February 8, 2013
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